Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
