I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
