But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
