that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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