I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
