It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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