we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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