So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
