That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
