I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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