I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize