Kiss
Puke
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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