Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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