y did u give ur computer a hand job?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
