I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
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the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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