He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
