it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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