Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize