I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
