i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless