I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
honey bunches of taint.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
