Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Come on in and take your pants off
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