I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize