you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was so not down for the gang bang
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
