dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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