Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Nicole vs. Life
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
