I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
