C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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