you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
