Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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