My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
