Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
