another moral hangover. fuck.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
