so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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