Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
