gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
