The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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