did you get engaged???
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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