Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
