once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
