at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
