I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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