I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
