NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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