so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
