it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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