hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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