well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
