I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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