in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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