fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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