AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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