I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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