I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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